![]() The world is sifting slowly through his awareness now, making him feel drunk. There is a soft noise against the pane between them. Through the glass, he hears Spock say his name with a wavering voice, and Jim knows that his vision isn’t playing tricks on him. The sight tightens his already painful throat, pushing another choked noise past his lips. Kirk realizes, then, that there are tears falling down the Vulcan’s face. Jim fights against it harder than he’s ever fought in his life, stubborn as a bull until the end, fixing light eyes on the Vulcan and never letting them drop.Īcross from him, Spock looks wrecked. There is black seeping into his peripheral. ![]() ![]() “It was because,” he continues, struggling to speak against uncooperative lungs, “I love you.” The words are clumsy, stumbling into one another in their effort to escape his raw throat, but they get the job done, and that’s enough. Spock opens his mouth, but Jim speaks first. It hadn’t hit him how much of a coward he’s been until time had run out on them. He tastes iron on the back of his tongue, knows it’s now or never, that he has to just fucking spit it out before he loses the chance to ever tell him– He’d been compared more than a few times to an intense star, short-lived in its brightness and hurtling towards a young burnout, destined to supernova and take out everything around him in his wake.Īnd judging by the sorrow on his friend’s features, that prediction wasn’t far off.Ī choked noise catches in his throat, gritting back a wave of pain that shudders violently through him. If it wasn’t so goddamn bleak, spinning apart down to the cellular level would be almost poetic. Jim isn’t an idiot being a starship captain, he knows about radiation, what it does to the body. His lungs are burning, and his gut is burning, his skin, his limbs– even his vision is starting to waver. With every second that passes, it’s getting harder to breathe. When it takes about as much effort to speak as it would to fight a Gorn, that doesn’t seem like much of a good sign. “I want you to know why I went back for you.
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